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| One of my son's awesome fashion creations. I read this quote somewhere, "People with autism help to offset the excessive number of boring people on Earth." I love this kid. |
So,
summer is officially over around here.
All the plans I had, all the things I wanted to get done over the summer
did not happen. But, that’s what
usually happens when you try to plan things. Right? I thought I would have my son fully potty trained,
speaking in sentences, and socializing with other kids like a pro by the end of
the summer. Well, those things did
NOT happen. Everything is pretty
much the same. I’m not complaining
or saying it’s a bad thing. It is
what it is. But, I went into the
summer with way too many expectations.
By the end of it, I relaxed and just let everything be. I let my son stay in his pj’s all day
and do whatever he wanted, and some days didn’t shove one flash card in his
face. Now, school is back in. We haven’t had much change, because he
is in the same class as last year with the same teacher. It is familiar and he likes it. I get to breathe easy for the time
being.
The
other day, I had one of those moments where it just hits you. As you might know, I am a
teacher. I was sitting in my
classroom with one of my Kindergarten classes talking with the kids when it hit
me. My son is the same age as
these kids. My son should be at my
school sitting in this class with me.
He should be able to have a conversation with me like they are, telling
me funny stories about their summer. He should be able to have friends like they do. I learned to stop comparing to him
to other kids a long time ago. He
has his own awesomeness that cannot be compared to anyone else. But, in this one moment it just hit me
and I almost couldn’t breathe. The
old suffocating feeling of worry and panic was creeping up on me. Will he ever be able to fully
communicate? Will he ever have
friends? Live on his own? Take
care of himself? What other
struggles will he endure as he grows older? Will he be happy?
But, I stopped the train wreck of misery, I did breathe and I didn’t let
it get to me like it used to. I
thought about his adorable smile, his blue eyes, his spirit, and his laugh. I thought about how lucky I am to have
him and I let it go. Go me. :)
